Eckhart Tolle wants us to “be here now”. But there are times I find it more peaceful NOT to be here now, e.g., when the New Year’s Day Rose Bowl Parade brought to you by Honda is on TV. I remember watching the parade as a little boy on TV (yes, Virginia, they had TV back when I was a mere mite). When I was a child, the parade was quite exciting, even in black & white, since everything was made of flowers. What was there for a little gay boy not to like?
But do I really want to be here now with the 2011 parade? Let’s take a short peak into Nowness. Hmmm. There is a high school marching band from Lynchum, Mississippi playing “When the Saints Come Marching In”. How original - nothing from the Rocky Horror Show? I take a moment to use my Spiderman vision to look into their sweet young eyes, and I see terror. I empathize with these dear Southern sisters and brothers. They came from Lychum, Mississippi to Los Angeles in just a few hours by flight! They are in cultural shock.
How can there be a town like LA in the greatest nation on Earth without a Southern Baptist Church on each corner? And why do all y’all talk so funny? There’s something slightly non-Christian about the California accent (did you know that California is where most porn is made?). On each side of the band I see adult keepers, ready to reign in the righteous kids if they lose control. It would be so easy for one of the Lynchum trumpeters to freak out and summon the archangel Michael to help rapture their butts out of Sodom & Gomorrah. I shift my clairaudience to focus on the cute young lady twirling a baton. Her eyes fall upon the address 666 Colorado Blvd. “Oh Lordy, protect us as we pass by the devil’s house” (Actually, it’s the Southern California corporate address for everything on late night TV that sells for $19.95).
See where “now” can take you? If you have great psychic powers like me (or just a wild imagination and the power of projection), "now" can be quite scary. So I turn off the TV.
I feel social guilt arising from my conscience. How dare I not watch the parade? Have I no ethics left? Surely I will be watching the football game (which football game? ANY football game) this afternoon, right? Well, no. You see, I just don’t enjoy watching guys who look like they were turned down for the movie TRON for being overweight. They are so padded that they look more like Power Rangers than athletes.
I like to see a bit of thigh when I watch sports, so I am a big soccer fan, like just about the entire rest of the world except the USA. I love watching those handsome guys running around in their tiny tight shorts, kicking the little ball around with their muscular hairy legs. It is just so cute. You can actually see the guys’ flushed faces and their hair flying through the air.
But I am not a total traitor to my culture. No! Chandler my golden retriever has a glow-in-the-dark football that squeaks when he bites down on it. Chandler and I celebrated New Year’s Day in the backyard. I’d throw a pass, and Chandler would catch and run with it while I tried to tackle him. Neither of us wore helmets or padding, but we had a lot of fun until we had every dog within a half mile barking at the noise made by the football.
But I am not a total traitor to my culture. No! Chandler my golden retriever has a glow-in-the-dark football that squeaks when he bites down on it. Chandler and I celebrated New Year’s Day in the backyard. I’d throw a pass, and Chandler would catch and run with it while I tried to tackle him. Neither of us wore helmets or padding, but we had a lot of fun until we had every dog within a half mile barking at the noise made by the football.
Oh, yeah…..isn’t New Year’s Day also the day when red blooded American guys drink a lot of beer in front of the TV as they root for their favorite tribe? Well, I am a spoilsport here also because I cannot drink alcohol due to some medications I take. But I fulfilled my duty as an American man in the culinary snack department. I gorged myself on bottled water with a hint of grape flavoring, and ate some air puffed potato chips (these are the latest rage, but the way).
As night falls, I am back at my new Christmas HP PC. Beneath the screen is a little chrome frog that Chaplain Barbara (some of you will remember her) gave me. She told me years ago that the little statuette stood for God. I responded “God is a frog?” “No, you imbecile! F=Fully R=Rely O=On G=God”. “Ah, I see.” I haven’t seen dear Barbara in years (she is quite elderly and can no longer travel to Unity Phoenix), but her frog gift reminds me of spiritual truth every time I sit in front of the PC.
While performing the rituals of the first day of the year might be fun or provide some deeper sense of continuity with life (i.e., my grandma and mom watched the Rose Bowl Parade, and now the crown – made of pansies - has been passed to me), you can sneak in deeperness (no, that isn’t a real word but it’s my blog and I’ll make up words if I want to). Perhaps during the silence (between beer commercials) you might whisper “Fully Rely on God. “This became a life preserver for me in 2010, when I suffered a serious downturn in health in June that made me feel that I was being sucked down into a vortex.
My illness brought home the truth that I must rely totally on God to guide my next baby step or mighty leap (you never know with God). I’ve learned that at any time I can take deep breaths in through my nose and slowly let them out through my mouth. So soothing and relaxing – no yoga training required and you don’t have to like sitar music. By the way, the yoga show on Unity FM drives me crazy with the sitar music in the background. “SHUT IT OFF, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!”
I close the eyes – it is so comforting, I think constructive thoughts, I have faith that I am part of a great gestalt called “All That Is”, and then I listen. I test what might be a message from a higher source against my sense of logic and intuition. If it asks me to put on a Ronald McDonald’s costume and leap from a tall building, I toss it away. If it asks me to take the medication the doctor suggested and then do my best to serve others, I do it.
I close the eyes – it is so comforting, I think constructive thoughts, I have faith that I am part of a great gestalt called “All That Is”, and then I listen. I test what might be a message from a higher source against my sense of logic and intuition. If it asks me to put on a Ronald McDonald’s costume and leap from a tall building, I toss it away. If it asks me to take the medication the doctor suggested and then do my best to serve others, I do it.
And now I’ll share my ultimate secret weapon. I give thanks. Giving thanks is the best practice for “Now”. And if you do not want to be here “now” (e.g., if you are having a root canal), give thanks for “then” (past/future). While you are at it, give thanks for that inspiring rendition of “When the Saints Come Marching In” and give all your love to the boys and girls from Lynchum, Mississippi.
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