Today was sulky and rainy in Arizona, a dark and dim Voldemort type of day. Since the great outdoors reminded us of Morty, my partner Wes and I decided to see the latest Harry Potter movie, probably the last humans on earth to do so. We drove to our local multi-plex-imax-cyborg 3D pleasure center and sat in the back row. The theater was practically empty - just the way we like it (We get so little rain in Arizona that people are deathly afraid of it and hide under their beds - which is hard on those people who still have waterbeds). I felt a wee bit like Donald Trump, buying out every seat in a theater simply so he wouldn't be annoyed by the sound of other people crunching on over priced popcorn during the movie.
The movie had a dark angst that I enjoyed, showing that even wizards have bad hair days. And Hermoine and Ron particularly were afflicted with this ailment. I was itching to climb into the movie with my dog's brush and try to bring some respectability to Hermoine and Ron's greasy hair, but since taking PAXIL my wand does not respond as fast as it used to! Why couldn't they be like my darling toy boy Harry, who has blossomed into a rather handsome young man with perfect skin and black orderly hair. Isn't that ironic? Wasn't one of the descriptions of Harry in the early books as being the boy who couldn't get his hair to lay flat? Well, for most of this movie he looked like he had just gone to Vidal Sassoon and then been outfited by Calvin Klein.
I personally did not like the way the aristocratic Malfoy family portrayed we blondes. If blondes aren't goose stepping with merciless vigor in movies about WW2, they are being portrayed as dim babes (like the South Carolina Miss America candidate who thought people couldn't find the US on a map because of a shortage of maps of the US since map makers were focusing on Iraq). Now we have the blonde Malfoys providing skin care with a carving knife. Draco's dad looked like he had his wig on backwards, he was in such a sulk because evidently Snake Nose thought the Malfoys were wusses. Of course, they did have the totally insane Beatrice in the family, and who can't relate to having at least one perpetually violent homicidal aunt?
There is only 1 more Harry Potter movie to go, and I think most people will go simply to see if Ron (the most stale marshmellow in the wizard marshmellow bag) finally realizes that Hermoine is in love with him. There's no counting for taste on Hermoine's part, but it would be fun to be related by marriage to the wonderful Weasley family. I'm not sure what Harry sees in Jenny, since she looks like the girl that came in second place in a spelling bee. However, they do end up getting married. Hope that wasn't a SPOILER for anyone. After seeing a Freudian therapist for a couple months (to deal with my obsession with peoples' hair), I know there is always a lot going on beneath the surface though. Underneath the surface story, I sensed a sexual tension between Harry and Malfoy. Harry may marry Jenny, but I bet he takes a lot of "fishing trips" with Malfoy to Brokeback Mountain. Of course, I think that Frodo and Sam were really trying to return the evil magic ring to Brokeback Mountain, but that's a different magical story.
Well, I have a golden retriever that requires at least 16 minutes of cuddling before bed each night, so now is the time for us to play spoons until Wes returns. Night!
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